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Global Warming and Your Romantic Relationship

Posted in: Blog by amy on January 29, 2013

*I have a new blog called A PEACEFUL SPLIT. You can find it (and follow it) at www.apeacefulsplit.com. It is for people who are going through relationship changes or a divorce. I thought today’s post would be relevant to all, so I’m sharing it with you here:

photo credit: forbes.com

It’s sixty degrees right now, on January 29th, in Chicago. Yes, it’s the middle of winter, and, yes, snow was on the ground just yesterday. It’s been a volatile season. There have been countless stories on the news about superstorms and floods and other weather-related catastrophes. There are many theories about this erratic weather around the globe, and there is a lot of scientific evidence to support those theories.

I have been listening to people talking. There are some who are ready to leap forward and attempt to help protect our planet. There are some who want to learn and explore and do what they can to help stop the speed of climate change. There are some who are concerned with their grandchildren’s future and want to know what they can do to help. And, then, there are some who are so comfortable with the patterns they have created that they refuse to even consider the possibility of making any changes.

It’s that last group that got me thinking: There are so many of us who feel so safe  wrapped up in our familiar blankets. We don’t want to step out and embrace change. We fear the unknown. We sit. We stay. We attach. We avoid change. We avoid feeling vulnerable.

The planet is a critical topic and an important conversation. But, I’m thinking about how that same mentality applies to our romantic relationships. How many of you are unwilling to even look at your relationship and consider the daunting task of making a change? How many of you feel stuck? How many of you feel numb?

If you are married and you have children, the possibility of leaving your spouse is one that may seem unthinkable … even if you are completely disconnected and unhappy. Divorce is hard. You’re not with your kids as a family unit; financial struggles may emerge; etc. There are so many reasons to “stick it out.” I get it. I see the reasons. If you can stay together and hold on to that connection, that is wonderful. But, if you are simply staying together and accepting your partner’s distance, than it’s time to consider change.

Just as today’s Spring-like weather in the midst of Chicago’s winter reminds us that global climate change is a real problem, the fact that you sleep in separate rooms or share little intimacy should be a horn blaring in your ear, launching you towards CHANGE.

I’m not suggesting that you recognize your unhappiness and then sign up for divorce. While that may be an option, there is another one: You may be able to work on your relationship, to reconnect with the person you once considered your life partner, to improve and evolve together.

Let’s not be scared of change. Let’s not back away from feeling vulnerable. The unknown can be scary as it’s unchartered territory. But, the beautiful moments in life often appear just when your eyes are open, your heart is ready and, yes, your vulnerability is skyrocketing. If we can embrace those uncomfortable feelings that come with stepping outside of our comfort zone, we can maybe save our relationship. We can maybe step out of a bad relationship and towards something more fulfilling. Hey, we can maybe even have a positive impact on our environment and on our globe … If we just are open to the possibility of change.

It’s the most unhappy people who most fear change.  – Mignon McLaughlin

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