Irritate Me Some More!
Posted in: Blog by amy on March 28, 2016
We all have those trivial triggers in our day-to-day lives — those petty little things that irritate us. For some, it may be their kids leaving clothes all over their floors. For others, it may be guests wearing shoes throughout their homes. For you, it may be when people are talking loudly on their cellphones in public places. For me, well, there are a few. But, one that has always gotten way too far under my skin is when people crack their gum. I find that habit to not only be so unattractive but also just beyond irritating. It bothers me so much that I have found myself fixating on the annoying sound and the disturbing visual of the mouth smacking, so much so that it has hampered my ability to focus on the present moment. Even as a child, I remember being distracted and disturbed during a test if a loud gum chewer was sitting near me. I tried every technique to tune out the sound. Nothing worked. Still to this day, if my kids and even some very accommodating adults are chewing loudly, I am known to stick out my hand and demand that they spit out their gum.
I don’t judge myself too much for my inability to rise above and ignore the sound. Like I said, we all have something (or many things) that irritate us. At this point in my life, I just accept the fact that gum cracking and I will never have peace with one another.
Ironically, one of my favorite people is also one of the biggest culprits: my dear friend Sue. If you’ve been keeping up with my blog, you know her as Sue Love. You also know her as my friend who is currently battling Multiple Myeloma, a kind of blood cancer for which she just had a bone marrow transplant. Sue has always been a great sport about my inability to deal with her gum chewing. We both have learned to plan ahead when spending time together. I fill my purse with mints that I can offer to her instead of gum. She tries to satiate her need to crack before I get in her car. There’s effort there on both of our parts. We laugh about it all the time. She puts up with my intolerance. I put up with her nearly unbearable desire to smack, crack and chomp. And, of course, neither of us love the other any less for it.
Well, tonight, I loved her MORE for it. Tonight, Sue Love allowed me to Face Time with her while she was in the hospital. She shaved off her hair today because it was falling out in big clumps (as was expected at this point in her treatment). For about 10 minutes, we talked as I admired the perfect shape of her head. I thought about how strong and brave and beautiful my Sue Love is as she told me about how she was feeling. Of course, she handled the shaving of her hair with her usual strength and grace.
As I just listened and looked, I was full of so much gratitude. I was grateful for the moment. I was grateful for seeing her face, her bald head, her beautiful smile. And, would you believe I was grateful to have the opportunity to see her chomp and crack her gum as we spoke. What a beautiful sight!
For two weeks, she has been in the hospital undergoing this life-saving treatment. With the risk of outside germs attacking her nearly non-existent immune system, no guests outside of her immediate family have been allowed to visit. I’ve been missing sitting by her side, which has become one of my favorite things to do. So, I have savored all of our texts and phone conversations. But, tonight, I received the gift of our Face Time conversation, and I received the gift of watching Sue Love chomp on her gum. We laughed about it. She even zoomed in on her mouth so I could get a close-up view of her gum as we giggled together. We both knew that the gum smacking was symbolic. Who would have thought that after all of these years of being disturbed by that sound that it would be one of the most treasured moments of my day? Crack away, my sweetest Sue Love! I’ll still make you spit out your gum once many months have passed, I’m sure. But, I will forever be grateful for every opportunity in which you get to agitate the hell out of me by doing so.
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